Modeling can build confidence it can also brake it .

I have some time on my hand so one more blog post. This is kinda weird to me because modeling can build confidence  but it can also brake it. So with me and My exspirance with modeling it built it. I'm not saying there were not moments of self doubt or anything... There was plenty of it. I suffer from  some major anxiety issues.  Modeling kinda took this shy little girl and took her out of her comforter zone in a good way. I got to go threw modeling and acting classes  at John Robert Powers and  when I was with Top Models of Texas they  would hold classes for weeks before we flew out to Texas up in  Saltlake . I was very uncoordinated.  I could hardly tell my right foot from my left let alone walk in High heels.....  But we practiced every week we would wear them why I was home I would  walk my little heart out.  one time braking down into tears in front of the rest of the models feeling like a fool because I could not do the walk. It felt like it would be easier to just flat out quit and I was 13 and I just wanted to run and Hide. I had parents who pushed me to keep going. Finely It was time to hit Texas  for the modeling competition. and it was time for me to walk  the cat walk where all the model scouts would be watching. I was not even scared. I got on that cat walk and I strutted my stuff. Mission accomplished! I felt amazing! I had kicked  one of my fears in the butt!  I believed in my self enough to stand up there and do that. Another reason it built confidence is I heard the word no or the word your just not right. This is one thing that can Majorly Brake your confidence! It can make you not feel good enough that is an awful feeling. You have thoughts like "OMG whats wrong with me" or "I'm just not pretty. "I know people who are drop dead gorgeous that have been told no and never went back and tried. Keep trying ,Keep dreaming! It dose not matter what anyone else thinks of you. Have faith in your self. I doubt my self all the time I think that's part of life but I love my self to know it dose not matter  what others think.  the sad Hard truth is not every one can be a model. I was watching a thing about modeling and they were saying Modeling is not about real women its about a fantasy . Modeling can cause self doubt . It can make people feel bad if they do not fit the standards of what a model should be.In my opinion something I think an agency looks for is completely unrealistic. The reason I feel like modeling was a confident builder for me is because I decided I was going to just do me. I was not going to let it brake me.  I did not want to mold my self in to some one I am not.  It helped me stand up for my  self. I dont want to be a fantasy I just want to be me. So its rely about staying true to your self when your in an world that  can pick you apart from limb to limb.  love your self and your body. and if your not what  they are looking for then screw them their loss.